"I hate my..." stop there! Why do we girls obsess over what we hate about ourselves? For example pimples. I don’t know about you…but for me I have my usual jumbo sized breakouts. But what makes us care so much? Maybe it’s the commercials that will have the before shots of a girl with the smallest zits on her face…that makes us feel that it’s not normal or its ugly to have a blemish or two. I’m not saying I don’t walk around my house with zit cream on, because trust me my pajamas and pillows show the stains. However, it’s too bad my face doesn’t always show the miracle that the little bottle of white gunk promised on the label. Makes me think to myself in the morning… “Well aren’t those smiling bitches on the commercials full of shit!” So I continue to apply my cover-up on and even though the zit is still there I don’t care because it doesn’t define me as a person. I let my friendly, funny, slightly sarcastic, bubbly self show throughout the day. There might be some miracle cream out there that improves your skin… but there’s no miracle cream or procedure you can use to improve the great person you are.
“Inside and out!”
That is something we all strive for, to be beautiful inside and out, but really the inner beauty you have shines from within. If people don’t give you the time of day simply because of how you look on the outside, or how you dress, then chances are they aren’t the kind of friend you want anyway. Plus, that person that is judging you is far more lost if all they have are friends that wear pink on Wednesdays with them. It’s hard to be confident not just with how you look and feel, but confident about the choices you make each day. There are so many days where I can say I have been hypocritical to what I stand for, but hey I am only human. I make mistakes, I get pimples, and I am beautiful inside and out because of them!
“Pinky Okay, Barbie No Way!”
There’s no hiding it, I am an extreme “girly” girl. As I was growing up, no one was ever surprised to see my Christmas gifts wrapped in pink. Of course, my birthday parties at home included decorating the entire house in all shades of pink including balloons, marabou, ribbon, and most importantly, glitter. I am sure you could guess that my older brother, Kris, always enjoyed that time of year! Somewhere between the American Girl Dolls I received for Christmas, and the Ballerina Birthday Parties my mom threw for me, my grandpa came up with the nickname “Pinky” for me, to help embrace my “girly” girl style. I didn’t mind the name; I felt special and as a matter of fact, I kind of liked it. It was always obvious that they loved me and were only being playful with me about my obsession with the color pink.
As I began my teenage years, I stopped hearing my familiar and endearing nickname, “Pinky.” I guess my family realized that I was moving on and let it go. To my surprise another nickname started to emerge for me among my peers. In the past, as you can imagine, I had always loved dressing all my dolls in pink, but I never embraced the whole Barbie phase. Therefore, I was truly surprised to hear my new nickname and label, “Barbie.”
High School is one of the most difficult times in a young girl’s life. This is a time when it is so hard to grow up, find the right friends and make the right choices when you have no idea of who you are or who you are suppose to be. The last thing I wanted while I was at my friends’ Sweet Sixteen parties was to hear, “Dayna this is your song!” when Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” played. Although they never meant it to hurt me, and thought for some crazy reason I would enjoy that title, I found it all very insulting. I always considered myself to be a very good sport and would much rather joke around than be serious all the time. Having an older brother, gave me that wonderful insight. Well that said, I found this new nickname hurtful and did not want to be compared to a mindless plastic doll. Since I always had to work extremely hard in school to be successful, the last thing I ever wanted was to be associated with someone who only cares only about themselves and other senseless things.
This was also a time when my friends and I were trying to get decent after school jobs. Two of the best opportunities at that time, were working for Abercrombie Kids or Hollister, since they offered hefty discounts and great working hours. I was extremely fortunate because I was offered two positions, one at Hollister and the other at Libby Lu, a young girl’s party store. Needless to say, all my girlfriends thought I should take the Hollister job. I wasn’t sure so I tried working both jobs for a while, but quickly realized that in my heart, I preferred working with the little girls. I loved the feeling of being able to contribute to a young girl’s special day and building their confidence. When I made this decision, it certainly surprised my friends but I knew I was definitely making the right choice for me. I needed to do more than just stand around a store everyday doing the same thing. Never could I have imagined that when I woke up for work one Saturday morning that I would meet a little girl who would touch my life in such a special way and make me believe that I truly made the right choice and that I was so much more than a “Barbie Girl.”
My Saturdays were usually spent hosting birthday parties for these girls. This involves teaching a song and dance, styling their hair along with helping each girl dress up in their favorite princess costume. However, my main responsibility is making sure each girl feels special. That Saturday, my friend Alanna, and I were a bit overwhelmed with the size of the party we would be hosting. There were fifteen girls and we were the only hosts working that day. As we braced for the worst, we were pleasantly surprised to see a group of excited six year olds walk quietly into the store. Remarkably, they all seemed well behaved.
Towards the back of the group, I noticed a little girl with beautiful long wavy blonde hair wearing the most adorable pink and white ruffled dress. This resembled a dress my mom would have picked out for me during my “Pinky” days. She was holding her mom’s hand and walking towards me with her head down. Since she was a few steps behind the other girls, I assumed she was just a little shy. As I approached her mom, she introduced me to Emily, the birthday girl. When Emily looked up at me, I realized she had a slight facial deformity. I would not have notice it if I simply passed her on the street, but it was something that became a little more obvious as I spoke with her. I could see she felt self conscious and therefore, I had to wonder why her mom chose Libby Lu for her daughter’s sixth birthday party.
After speaking with Emily, I realized she was quite intelligent. I even detected a sense of humor and a great smile. Although she was excited and seemed to warm up to me after a few minutes, I could still sense a distance between her and her friends. I knew I had to do something to turn this day into one that she would always remember. As the afternoon progressed and the makeovers were in full swing, I paired myself with Emily. While I was fixing her hair, I could see her eyes gaze away from the mirror. This was not how I wanted my birthday girl to feel. I had to do something to break the tension, so I began to sing the song we had just taught the girls earlier in the day. They all began to join in. It wasn’t long before Emily began to sing. At this point, I felt she was finally starting to relax and enjoy her friends and the party. Everyone’s attention was diverted from their appearance to simply having a good time.
Later, Emily was delighted when she looked into the mirror after I placed the birthday tiara on top of her head. She looked beautiful, and I knew she felt even more beautiful. Most importantly, I could also see she gained a sense of confidence that had been missing earlier. I knew her mom saw the transformation also. I was overwhelmed by the connection I made with her. This was a very special day for me. I knew I could never have had such a meaningful experience working at Hollister just standing around for 6 hours. Once the party ended Emily gave me a huge hug and said, “Thank you, I had the best time.” As I agreed with her and told her how much fun I had, I noticed her mom. Her eyes were filling up as she smiled, thanked me and told me they would be back next year. It was only then that I realized why her mom chose to give Emily a Libby Lu Princess Birthday Party.
I consider myself so fortunate to have had the opportunity to work at Libby Lu and meet Emily. My experience with her helped me look at myself in a new way. She was a true example of courage and how stepping out of your comfort zone brings wonderful benefits; we actually both did exactly that. If I had not followed my heart and taken the job at Libby Lu, I would not have gained so much in return. My decision was not the popular choice among my peers, but I am so happy I did what felt right for me. My choice of a job that summer also helped eliminate that dreaded “Barbie” label as people began to take the time to get to know the real me.
High School certainly tested the conviction of my principles, but I am so happy that I was not afraid to stand alone in my beliefs among my friends. I have come to realize that it is more important to follow your heart than simply follow the choices of others. This has helped me develop a greater sense of confidence and self esteem. So in other words, “Pinky, OK…Barbie, No Way!”
