Ask Classy

Dear Classy,
I don’t know what to do. I’ve had this best friend for 2 years now, and I love her but she is kind of boy crazy. So recently she started dating this boy who is also friends with my older brother. Since her mother doesn’t like him, she comes to my house so the two of them can hang out. But recently it feels like she’s using more than anything else, she always asks to come over… but with him. I confronted her about and she said that “I’m just jealous because I don’t have a boyfriend”. And I don’t know, maybe I am… but I also feel like she’s wrong. Do you think that she’s being a good friend? Is it worth to have this friendship when I feel so used? PLEASE HELP ME!
- Frustrated Friend, 16, New York


Dear Frustrated Friend,
A true friend likes you for you, and not for what you can give them. This sounds like a Wrapped up Wonton, she only focuses on her wants and needs, and when you try to confront her she blames for the problem, when really she should be focusing on what really is the problem. It is hard to balance friendships and boyfriends, especially at the start of a relationship. But that is something she needs to work on – not you. What I think is that you need to tell her you no longer feel comfortable having them both over at the same time, and even talk to your brother about it. Maybe he feels the same way too. Then tell her that she is your best friend and you still want to hang out, but with just the two of you. Give it some time and see what happens, let her be the one to call you. Then if she never responds, perhaps it’s time for you to move on, and see what other friends are out there. In fact, this could be an opportunity for you to find a friend that you connect with even better. She may be doing you a favor, to find someone who is more like yourself and a true best friend.
Much Love,
Classy