Ask Classy

Dear Classy,
My close group of friends, aka my best friends, isn’t necessarily the “coolest people” but honestly they are really cool! But now because of their rep people are thinking that I’m a dork too… I don’t know what to do.. I can either sit at lunch with my cooler friends or I can just stick with my close friends. What should I do???
- Which Friends?, 15, Pennsylvania

Dear Which Friends?,
Well the best decision for you would be to hang out with the people you are most comfortable with. It sounds like you are more comfortable with your “dorky” friends, but you are also more concerned with what other people think of you. This is a hard time in a girl’s life. You don’t want to be known as a dork, but you also aren’t comfortable with the “cooler people”. You will find later in life that the coolest people you will meet are those that are comfortable with themselves. No one likes a follower or a “wannabe” – just be yourself and everything will be okay! :o) This means that if you enjoy hanging out with the dorky kids, screw everyone else and have a fun time with the people you love!
Much Love,
Classy

Poo Poo Platter

Being in a relationship and being in love can be such a love/hate time in a girl’s life. I thought before I started writing this that I would have more negative things to say rather than positive. However, being in a relationship that goes downhill doesn’t always have to end by crashing into a brick wall. People change...and it is one of the many hard things in life that you just have to accept. When you are a teenager the person you start dating is most likely eventually going to make new friends, and maybe even start a new style. It only makes sense that with a new wardrobe and posse, along with it will come a new person. Fact is, you can only hope that deep down that person’s morals and values don’t change as well and that they don’t leave you standing there asking yourself where did my other half go?.. Hate to break it to ya sista, but this is why many people “fall out of love.” But in my opinion, I think it is better to fall out of love, rather than never experiencing love at all. And besides, who says you needed that half anyways… when you can be the whole damn thing and be happy! That’s right all my single ladies, just remember you don’t have to lower your standards to match someone else’s. Be strong enough to be your own person. I guess you just gotta learn to smile and walk away and remember the good times… life goes rolling on.

“So Unpredictable.”
Comfort. That’s what happens to most couples after being in a relationship for a long time. The skirt you wore in the beginning turns into jeans, then sweatpants, then eventually you are left there naked… just kidding. But honestly you eventually become so comfortable with that person, hence when people say “I couldn’t imagine you not being in my life!” Its okay to grow closer with the person, but it’s not okay when you become TOO dependent on them. That’s when the unexpected can happen…such as that evil thing called change or maybe even breaking up for one reason or another… either way you don’t want to be left there stripped of your dignity.

How is this a problem?
Well, there isn’t really any problem with growing closer with someone. Not all relationships last forever, you are still young. Being in different relationships can help you learn who you are and what kind of person you are truly meant to be with. Until then, there’s no rush! Just enjoy having fun and if you can find someone to have fun with then, that’s just awesome!

Story Time!
The Egg Drop Soup
The dress, the makeup, the hair all goes into the perfect prom, right? Well…. Not for me.
I guess it all started when my so called, “Prince Charming” dropped me like an egg on a steaming sidewalk, left to be scrambled… okay well maybe it wasn’t that intense, but hey this drop really hurt!
If someone asked me during my freshmen year if I would consider not going to my senior prom, I would say “no way!” Well if that someone was my friend freshmen year, chances are we didn’t stay friends for very long (there were many “Wrapped up Wontons” in my school.) It was nice because my boyfriend and I kind of saw through those types of people, and stayed true to ourselves. However, after two and a half years we broke up. It was in January, about four months before prom. His reasoning was that I was going away to college and I deserve better (aka he wanted to live it up while he could in high school because he wasn’t going away to college.) Well whatever the reason, I knew it was time – we both changed. Sad to say, but when we were breaking up, one of the last comments he said was, “but ill still go to prom with you!” As if it was some favor, more like a pity invite.
This was surprising on many levels because while we were going out he said he didn’t even want to go to prom, but then he had to ask as if he was doing a good deed after the break up. Well, being taken aback from everything, I told him we would talk about it another time. Another time never really came around, and while waiting to hear what was going to happen I overheard everyone else’s plans. While sitting in my least favorite class, math, I listen in on these two girls talking behind me about who was sitting at their prom table. When they said my ex-boyfriend’s name, you could understand my shock, he taking his friend’s younger sister… I wanted to throw my calculator across the room. When I asked him what was going on he said, “well I figured you didn’t want to go with me anyways.” I’m sorry, but who wants to get asked to prom when their getting broken up with?! Was it so much to have wanted him to ask me in a nice, genuine way, the girl he dated for half of high school?
After thinking about it, I realized I didn’t really need to go to my prom. Instead I spent my senior prom night going to see the Sex and the City movie with my mom at midnight. And you know what, I had a great time! While my classmates were probably sneaking in alcohol to prom, I snuck in ice cream and candy bars into the movies. Prom is about being with the friends and people you have fun with, and to be honest the girls at my school were not my idea of fun. To put it in the nicest way possible, they were backstabbing, bitchy, and overall fake. My mom was there for me all of high school, I guess you can say she was my prom date! I don’t regret my choice; and plus the movie was awesome. But anyways, moral of the story is your expectations of how life should turn out, doesn’t often happen. I never expected my prom night, to be sitting in a movie theater with my mom, rather than at a prom table with my friends, or have my hair in a ponytail, rather than an up-do, but you got to laugh.
Life’s not a storybook; I thought certain times of my life were supposed to have the pages written for me. But then I discovered I could become the author, and there’s nothing better than that.

The Repair.
Make choices and decisions that are best for you; that way when you look back you can say you wouldn’t have done it any other way… or maybe it was a bad decision and you can learn from it, either way it was YOUR choice. Point is being in a relationship can influence you to change along with your partner, just make sure that’s what you want too. As we have said many times you can’t go wrong with staying true to yourself!

Ask Classy

Dear Classy,
I don’t know what to do. I’ve had this best friend for 2 years now, and I love her but she is kind of boy crazy. So recently she started dating this boy who is also friends with my older brother. Since her mother doesn’t like him, she comes to my house so the two of them can hang out. But recently it feels like she’s using more than anything else, she always asks to come over… but with him. I confronted her about and she said that “I’m just jealous because I don’t have a boyfriend”. And I don’t know, maybe I am… but I also feel like she’s wrong. Do you think that she’s being a good friend? Is it worth to have this friendship when I feel so used? PLEASE HELP ME!
- Frustrated Friend, 16, New York


Dear Frustrated Friend,
A true friend likes you for you, and not for what you can give them. This sounds like a Wrapped up Wonton, she only focuses on her wants and needs, and when you try to confront her she blames for the problem, when really she should be focusing on what really is the problem. It is hard to balance friendships and boyfriends, especially at the start of a relationship. But that is something she needs to work on – not you. What I think is that you need to tell her you no longer feel comfortable having them both over at the same time, and even talk to your brother about it. Maybe he feels the same way too. Then tell her that she is your best friend and you still want to hang out, but with just the two of you. Give it some time and see what happens, let her be the one to call you. Then if she never responds, perhaps it’s time for you to move on, and see what other friends are out there. In fact, this could be an opportunity for you to find a friend that you connect with even better. She may be doing you a favor, to find someone who is more like yourself and a true best friend.
Much Love,
Classy

"SONOTME" Chicken

For most teenagers, the most important thing is going out with your friends on the weekends, and then spending all week in school talking about the drama that happened that weekend. Passing notes in class, sending texts, and quick secrets in the hall ,right before the bell rings. You’ll be laughing about inside jokes on the phone around your house, and when your mother asks what’s so funny, you give her that nastyass look of death, thinking “why is this crazy lady bothering me again!” Well truth is that crazy lady might just turn out to be your best friend… even if her texting skills aren’t so great. Some teens will do anything to get out of that family event, because god forbid you miss the next scandalous hookup! Fact is, we are brainwashed to think nowadays that if you’re not out drinking, or partying you’re not cool. But when you think back to that party you HAD to go to, did it really mean more then let’s just say your grandmothers birthday, or your cousins graduation?...Sometimes you have to think what is more important, getting shitfaced with your friends... or getting a face full of cake and bonding time with your family!

"The cool thing to do."
So let them think what they want, let them judge, easier said than done, right? It might not be so cool to tell your friends… “Actually guys I think I am going to hang out with my mom instead.” So what’s a teenager supposed to do, you don’t want to lose your friends, but you want to do what is right for you.How is this a problem?People end up doing things they don’t want to because of peer pressure, but really they are only pressuring themselves. No one is taking you by the hand and dragging you to make the choices you make. Teenagers are programmed to believe that every Friday and Saturday should be crazy, and if you’re not out doing something “cool” you’re a dork. Well, look you don’t have to give anyone an excuse, or reason for why you can’t hang out. If you don’t feel comfortable with plans your friends are making, it’s okay to stay in, who know maybe some friends will choose to stay in with you too. Follow your gut and do what makes you happy. When it comes down to it would you rather be called a dork... or a follower?

Story Time!
Spring Rolling Around
You know the saying, April showers bring May flowers… well this shower washed away more then just earth dirt. It was starting to get warmer outside, and my crazy 72 year old grandparents opened their pool yet once again. Now that they are getting older, all they look forward to is having their family come over and lie outside, and spend some time together. However, being 16 what would you really want to choose to do on your Saturday night?
While driving in the car with my mom looking for yet another dress to wear to yet another sweet 16, one of the “Yeung Hos” called to hang out. She said the girls were getting together to go out to eat and then movies. Well… to be quite frank I think that, that idea was a load of crap. Maybe she had good intentions... and was trying to reach out to me, after hurting me one too many times. But for some reason our “girl’s” nights never just stayed us girls. Guys and alcohol were constantly invited to these get togethers. It’s not that I am a prude, or wouldn’t drink, but seriously can’t a girl just get some ice cream…chill…and keep her clothes on! It was just starting to get old, they always wanted to be around guys and drink, while I would have been just as happy watching chick flicks, eating chips and dip and flipping through a Cosmo... I know I’m a great multi-tasker.
Those girls made me cry countless times, and the only ones there to wipe away my tears, were my family. I will never forget that day, because it was the time in my life when I really blossomed, and realized that my family was more important. I called them back and told them I wouldn’t be able to make it because I was going to my grandparent’s house instead.
It turns out that I wasn’t doing my grandparents any favors, in fact they did me one, I needed them more than they needed me. They saved me from spending one more day, a day that could result in bad consequences, with a person who kept stabbing me in the back…and of course they saved me the calories from eating the same repetitive meal at Applebee’s.
When I told the one “ho” I was going to my grandparents instead, I could tell by her voice that she knew I was drifting away, but I didn’t care. When I really thought about it, I realized I would much rather spend time with people I love, and whom would always be there for me… even if it’s not the “cool thing” to do on a Saturday. In my opinion, a real friend is someone who I look forward to spending time with, and if that means my grandma, then so be it!

The Repair.
Instead of going to that rager down the block, grab Mean Girls, popcorn, margarita glasses, your best friends, and make a night out of it! If you can make a great night out of nothing, other people will become jealous and start to question their own plans. Now, instead of waiting around for people to call you, you can call the shots. That’s when the real fun begins. :)

HAPPY EASTER!

Happy Easter to everyone! Go spend time and have fun with the people you love and who love you back, and remember to keep it classy :)

Fried Up Friends

Dealing with a friend whose morals and values are different than your own can be a major challenge, but it can also be handled in different ways that could, in time, make you grow as a person. There is probably going to be one or more friends in your life that are just never going to understand your point of view or the advice that you give. Everyone has differences, but depending on those differences, you should either keep holding on, or let go of that friendship. Just because you may have different interests, hobbies, or even dress differently, if you both accept each other for who you are, it is worth the friendship and can add a little spice to the relationship. We’re not saying if you’re the head cheerleader tomorrow you should go ahead and be best friend’s with the crackhead standing at the locker next to you… but there’s nothing wrong with saying “hello”. You have a choice, you can accept a friend for who they are or try and make a clean breakaway. You shouldn’t have to lower your standards for any friendship.

"The Rush."
Let’s face it, making friends isn’t always easy. When starting anything new, the pressure to make friends can be almost overwhelming. No one in life wants to be alone. Sometimes the thought can cause you to start a friendship with someone who isn’t the perfect match. Last thing you want is to destroy yourself to become something you’re not.

How is this a problem?
People see who you are friends with, and yes, if people don’t know you, they judge you based off your friends. If others see you with someone who is involved in drugs and alcohol, most likely they are going to assume you are too. This means you can be missing out on the people that are more your type because you were in a rush to start a friendship with someone not of the same interests and values as your own.

Story Time!
Yeung Ho I
When I started high school, I was terrified I would think about juvenile things like "What would people think of me?" ... "Would I have as good as a group of friends like I did in middle school?" and ... "Would it be easy to make friends?" But really the question I should have been asking myself was, "Would I find a true friend?" Instead I was in such a rush to just be comfortablee with someone and not feel alone.

I made a quick friend and although we connected and enjoyed each other’s company, I wasn’t staying true to myself. Our fun, the majority of the time, went against my better judgment, and of course my mother’s rules. Being freshmen in high school I did things I never would of when I was younger, like drinking on a golf course with two boys, we both didn’t know. (Now I know I know, that’s nothing compared to other girls, but honestly that’s not the point.) It’s not that I think drinking on the golf course is so bad ass; the point is that it’s not me.
Golfing was never my idea of fun…and neither was drinking, I knew I was doing things I didn’t want to do just to fit in (corny I know). The next morning my mother was furious. I was so drunk my brother said he thought I was high because I was sitting in my kitchen laughing my ass off at the computer screen... but nothing was on the screen. Even though that’s pretty funny, it’s also pretty scary that I didn't even remember being in my kitchen that night. I had to ask my friend what happened between me and one of the guys; I was so scared and ashamed about everything I did.
I knew my mom was let down, but more importantly I let myself down. Luckily, I didn’t do anything stupid with one of the guys, but the next day he texted asked if all four of us can hang out again. When I asked what he had in mind he said "the beach at night". I figured why not, it sounded like a cute idea and I could let him see the real me -- not the drunk skanky me. The plans slowly started to change.
Alcohol was brought up and sleeping out. Once I asked how we could even sleep on the beach because it closes at 8:00, he said it was no big deal and we could just sleep in the woods. The scary part was my friend was ok with it. Not only did I realize we didn’t know these guys well enough to do that, but the last thing I wanted my mother to watch on her Sunday morning news was a picture of my precious face and a reporter saying how "I slept in the woods with two boys, and after they had their fun with me, they threw my body into the ocean"
…okay maybe that’s an extreme thought, but c'mon, who would want to sleep in the woods anyways? I told my friend she was crazy and it was strange how our romantic plans quickly changed. We weren’t going to be cuddling on the beach watching a sunset with pinacoltas... let’s get real the guys wanted some ass.
I sometimes wonder what would have happened if my friend didn’t have me there to spell it out for her. I spent most of my time in our friendship spelling things out for her... I thought I could change her, and thought maybe her morals and values could change to match mine... when really all I should have done was change my friends. I learned the hard way that you can’t change anyone if they don’t truly want to change themselves. I’m not saying you can’t have a friend with differences, but don’t lower your standards for a good friend to just have a lousy friend. Stay true to you, and making friends will happen naturally.

The Repair.
Remember when you are true to yourself; you are naturally happy no matter what. When you’re happy, others see that happiness and positive attitude, and want to be a part of that... which can start a real friendship.

What's On the Menu?

Boiling Pot of Self-Esteem (5/24/09)

Don't get caught up looking in that mirror for too long!

Let us help burn away those pimples!

THE TASTELESS

Fried up Friends (4/03/09)

The kind that will never understand you.

Brains can be baked raw, medium, Fried up Friends or well done.

“SONOTME” Chicken (4/14/09)

The kind that are coated with fakeness and followers, instead of sesame.

Just sprinkle some seasoning and their steamed into a vegetable!

Wrapped up Wontons

The kind that broil in their own pot of interests.

Self-serving, crisped and flakey.

THE FORTUNATE COOKIES

Steamed to Perfection

The kind that will stick by your side.

But you won't need napkins to clean up this mess.

SWEET

Triple Delight Soup

The dish that will try to marinate just to be your perfect mate.

Tossed with pride, sacrifice, surprises, and biting the bullet..you'll can't wait to chow down!

SOUR

Poo Poo Platter (4/22/09)

The dish that holds Low Men Noodles.

Tossed with a mix personality, unexpected change, and boring lo mein & chicken.

5 Fun & Easy Dates (5/1/09)

Cheap, fun and easy dates that will keep your man coming back for seconds!

5 Reasons to Stay in Love with Chocolate (5/8/09)

There's no reason to break up with this chunk.

5 Things People SHOULD Be Doing This Summer (6/5/09)

No reason to stay on the computor all day... unless you're reading classy!